If I knew then what I know now

June 1, 2000

Dear New Homeschool Mom Jill,

Breathe.  I know you get really excited about new adventures and challenges, but homeschooling is all about the process, not an item on your “to do” list to be tackled and checked off.  Homeschooling is about relationships: your relationships with your children, sibling relationships, lasting friendships, and –most importantly—your relationship to Christ.  Until 4^th grade, just have fun.  Play lots of games, and do whatever you enjoy doing: crafts, nature hikes, field trips.  Yes, teach them math, reading, history, science and religion; but, do it in a way where everyone is enjoying the process.  Formal teaching at these ages should take less than 2 hours at a maximum.  Don’t worry, you will have plenty of years ahead of more “school work”.  Your kids are not behind.  If all you do is read books together for an hour a day, you will be doing just fine.  Your kids will be just fine.  Also, don’t get started too early with formal learning, co-ops and workbooks.  If you need a break, utilize swap days with friends or spend the money for a mother’s day out program.  Yes, teach them; but always through play and laughter and joy.  Host events for moms with kids the same ages.  These will be some of the strongest friendships you will ever form—and they will be for life and the life of your kids.

You are an extrovert.  Make sure you have daily connections with other moms who share your struggles.  Oh, and this cool thing called Facebook will be developed.  Don’t be fooled by it: it is no substitution for face-to-face connection and can lead you into deeper isolation if you are not careful.  It is a really cool way to share information and photographs though.  Avoid the vaccine debates.  Trust me on this one.

Do NOT worry about proving yourself to the naysayers.  Yes, your mother and father.  Yes, your husband’s parents too.  Yes, your nosey neighbor.  Yes, your sister-in-law who insists that you are ruining your children.  They are all wrong.  You know this already in your heart, but I’m here to tell you 18 years later that you are more than right about this.  Your children are amazing young adults with a strong faith life.  Homeschooling has so much to do with this because you were able to live your faith out daily with your children as constant observers.

Slow down and let go of perfectionism.  You are going to burn out if you continue at this rate.  You can NOT do it all and no one expects you to.  Especially not God.  Do your best every day and let the rest go.

After 4^th grade, add in some writing skills and teach the kids how to use a daily planner to begin time management skills.  Grade the school work every day.  If you don’t grade daily the kids will catch on and work will not get done.  They do not have the maturity for that level of discipline.  Do not get frustrated as it is a waste of your energy and rooted in pride.  Instead, take a breath and remind them that school is the first priority, so no other activities can happen until they are all caught up.  They will learn, but it will take lots of repeated effort.  Expect to see results in a few years.

Know your strengths and your weaknesses.  You are not good at grading and follow through.  Find a course to help keep the kids accountable. Don’t fight yourself on this.  Especially for high school. Find a course that teaches your visual learners on-line or through a co-op.  You’ll thank me later for this.

Lastly, take full advantage of the flexibility of homeschooling.  Take the time to visit grandparents, enjoy the good weather days, go camping as often as possible and take the time off to visit with a friend or neighbor in need.  Don’t blow off school work, but be flexible with the timing.  You would be amazed at how much can get done after dinner when the day was spent hiking and playing outdoors.

Oh, and you were totally genius to do half days of school starting in the horrid heat of the summer.  The long holiday breaks at Thanksgiving through New Year were great blessings and really did make Advent a more focused time of preparation without the stress of school.  You are also wise to teach the kids homemaking skills.  In a few years, when God answers your prayers for more children this will pay off in a big way.

You are not a perfect mom, a supermom, or amazingly patient; but, your kids are amazing people.  Don’t forget to give Patrick lots of affection and thank him for supporting you in these efforts.  The two of you make an amazing team when you allow God’s grace to flow.  You’re doing a great job, Jill, so don’t be too hard on yourself.  I need you healthy in 18 years because, well, I don’t want to spoil the surprise…let’s just say you’ll be over the halfway marker by then, but will still have quite a way to go.

With Deepest Prayers of Encouragement,

Veteran Homeschool Mom Jill

January 15, 2018

Camp Schooling

Yes, I’m really doing this!  We are currently at a local campground–a mere 15 minutes from home.  I’m basking in the sun, staring out at the lake and enjoying the laughter and play of my kids on the beach.  It has been a long-time dream of mine to travel the US in an RV and homeschool on the open road.  One of the major motivators to shift to homeschooling in the first place was the ability to travel.  Heck, we were spending thousands of dollars on private education back then (18 years ago and only 2 children enrolled in school).  The thought of all the places we could go with that money was astounding.  Of course, the savings in tuition was also the key factor freeing us to truly be open to life as well.  Homeschooling allowed us both the large family God planned for us and the ability to educate them well in faith and academics.  But, I digress.  The babies came and traveling very far was not really a feasible option.  Until now.

Four weeks ago, I said “yes” to God.  I finally let go of my pride and stepped whole heartedly into the vocation of wife and mother.  For 24 years of marriage, I had believed that wife and mother were not enough.  Someway, somehow, I had bought into the belief that I had to have some sort of tangible giving beyond my home to be “worthy.”  It might sound funny, but I didn’t even realize that this is what I believed.  Six months ago, I was ready to go out and find a job.  Not for the money, but for the affirmation and appreciation of my efforts.  I was grasping and desperate to be more.  To be someone.  To be me.  But, I didn’t know who I was.  Through prayer and faith, I just kept taking one day at a time and letting God lead me.  As painful, dark, and terrifying as that walk of faith was, I couldn’t go back.  I refused to stop living again, to stop being, to stop loving.  So, I kept moving forward motivated by love and hope and faith.  Then, one day my path was made clear to me—first in my heart and then in my mind.  I had to quit my job and embrace my vocation as wife and mother.  Easier said than done.

My job was working for my husband.  My job was a key role in creating and managing the databases for our business with our oldest daughter (my step daughter) and her husband.  We have four workers to run a business that needs to support both families and I was backing out!  I kept arguing with God that I couldn’t be replaced.  That they needed me.  “How will the databases be created and maintained?” I asked.  God said, “That’s not your problem.  You obey and let me do the rest.”  And so, I did.  I obeyed.  My husband was shaken, but he is not one to question God and supported me in the decision.  My step daughter seemed relieved.  It was time for us to rebuild and strengthen our relationship on a personal level.  It was time for me to enjoy my grandchildren.  As a mother and a daughter, she understood and was also very encouraging and supportive.  My kids were excited.  You must realize that my younger six children have no memories of a healthy mom!  The six of them were born in a seven-year timespan.  My health crashed after the youngest entered the world with both of our lives teetering in the balance.  I gave six-weeks notice and taught my husband how to create and manage the databases (apparently I am easily replaceable—a good lesson in humility right there).  And today is the fourth Monday since beginning my new career doing the most important job I’ll ever have: homeschooling homemaker.

When I talked to my husband about traveling the US, he wisely suggested I start with a week-long trip near home and work up from there.  Seeing that I have no experience in pulling a 30 foot camper, I wisely agreed.  Last week, I looked at the 10 day forecast and decided that it was a live or die opportunity.  If not now, when?  I packed over the weekend and Patrick drove us out to the campgrounds last night.  I cancelled all commitments and rescheduled appointments for the week.  And here I sit, surrounded in nature (I’m admiring a baby woodpecker only 20 feet away in an oak tree) with six very happy children.

The older two just took off for a hike and the other four are frolicking on the beach.  We have already worked in our math lesson this morning and will soon explore the love of grammar and writing; but the most important lesson my children are learning is to follow God–to find and live the life He chose for each of them to live.  They already understand in their tender ages that this earthly life includes pain and suffering; but by striving to live God’s will, one will find peace and joy.

God’s Faithfulness–Part I

It was mid-July and I was feeling especially fearful about the prospect of homeschooling again in the fall.  My husband and I had agreed that we would divide our duties differently.  Since we were working together in our home-based business, we would work together to get the household chores and homeschooling tasks accomplished as well.  Still, my heart raced and my stomach flip-flopped at the thought of it.  So, I prayed.  I prayed for wisdom, for God’s will and for a friend.  For the first time in many years, I prayed for a friend.  It seemed silly, really since God has blessed me with so many faithful friends I am rich beyond belief (Sirach 6:14-16)!  But, my original tribe, The Hens, are in a very different phase of their lives—almost empty nesters—while I am still years away from an empty nest.   I prayed for a friend that could help me get through the loneliness and redundancy that one finds as a homeschooling mother: long days without adult interaction, math facts, grading, laundry, meals, etc.

The week had been a rough one.  Sick kids and stresses in our family life and marriage were taking its toll on my mental well-being.  Friday rolled around and our weekend plans had to be cancelled.  Then, I remembered the Catholic Homeschooling Conference was being held that very day.  Yes!  Yes, I could still make it and even sneak in the social dinner gathering that Jenny had organized.  I remembered seeing her post on Facebook and quickly replied that I would attend after all.  It was only out of desperation for socialization that I was attending this conference.  I still was not convinced that homeschooling was the right fit.

I arrived at the conference around 2 o’clock.  The first observation I made was how many women I knew.  Their faces made my heart fill with joy. “God has blessed me,” I thought to myself.  I must have seen, visited and hugged at least twenty women in that first hour!  As I was catching up with one mother, Ginny Seufert walked by.  She has spoken at almost every homeschool conference I’ve attended for the past 16 years.  She caught my eye because she looked particularly youthful and beautiful this day.  I told her just as much.  She was just on her way in to give a talk.  My friend asked me if I wanted to hear Ginny speak.  I wasn’t going to attend the talks.  I still was not sure that I was going to homeschool.  I was almost certain that I had heard it all before.  This would be my 18^th year of homeschooling IF we were to homeschool, that is.  Still, I agreed to go in and listen.  Ginny is always good for straight talk and hearty laughter.

I was not prepared for her talk this time around.  Her topic was something to the effect of “Why You Should Persevere in Homeschooling No Matter What.”  She pointed out all of the confusion in the world, the opposition to natural law and its infiltration into the educational system of even the youngest students.  She then went on to discuss the Peshtigo Fire in 1871 in Northern Wisconsin and the miracle at the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help.  Fascinating topics on their own accord, but especially relevant to me.  You see, I was born in Green Bay, Wisconsin almost 100 years after that horrific fire.  My ancestors were Belgium immigrants living in the area at the time of the Fire. Adele Brise is a relative by marriage in my family tree and I had heard the stories of the fire and the miracles for many years.  But, even more relevant because my own father was healed through the intercession of Mary at the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help on August 15, 1937.  If not for that miraculous healing I would not be here today.  My second observation for the day was that my life has a particular and unique purpose.  Like Adele Brise, I heard the words in my head, “Teach the children the way to salvation…I will help you.”  Moved to tears, I knew I would and I could return to homeschooling.  Mary would help me as well.  It was time for us to formally consecrate ourselves and our children to her.  Mary always leads us to her Son, Jesus Christ; intercedes in begging grace for us; and protects us and guards us as she protected and guarded her own Son, Our Lord.

Brave New World

Seven weeks into the new school year a new groove has formed.  Life follows this new path revealing once unseen landscapes and vastly different views.  Yet, I can’t help but seek out the old and familiar sights.  Longing for the companionship of other adult women and seeking for social outlets for my remaining lone-homeschooled child, the Bible Study sounded like a perfect blend of opportunities for us. “Bring along your children, your Bible, your journal and pens,” the Facebook post beckoned to me.  It sounded like the superb opportunity beginning with the Holy Mass, ending in fellowship centered on the Word of God, and coming to a church in my neighborhood this Friday.

Daniel ran fever all day on Thursday, which meant no school on Friday and my plans for Bible Study seemed lost.  I crawled out of bed earlier than usual this Friday morning at 7:45.  Angela met me in the hall with bright eyes and excitement.  “Sorry,” I said, “we can’t go because Daniel is sick.”  She quickly offered a rebuttal that Dad was working from home today.  We could still make it if we hurried.  I glanced at the clock and dismissed morning Mass quickly.  I was barely out of bed and my regular routine takes 40 minutes.  But, I conceded that we could still make it to the Bible Study for 9:30.

We arrived to the welcoming greeting of one mother with her lively three boys and waited for the others.  After some time, we discovered that we were in the wrong room and a group of women and children could be found down the hall, already finished with the kids’ craft and Bible story.  Beautiful women, beautiful children and such a great opportunity being offered; yet, as I sat there I could hardly contain the anxiety welling up within me.  My own two children were calm and at ease with the coloring pages, but the activity in the room was proving too much for me to handle.  I tried to listen as one mother explained the hope for what the new group could become.  Something about rotating responsibility for overseeing the children while the other mothers met for discussion in an adjacent room.  All I could think was (and pardon my expression), “hell no!”  My energy was completely drained in a matter of minutes from the simple, normal activity of young children.  I attempted  to explain why I couldn’t/wouldn’t be able to oversee the children, but just felt completely awful about not being able to take a shift every other month.  After all, we only would be meeting every two weeks.  I politely thanked them all and truly enjoyed making their company, but I desperately needed to head home.  By the time I walked out of the room, I could barely walk.  This was not where I needed to be.  Not any more.

God has a way of stripping away our false identity in order to reveal our true selves–the self He created and wills.  My identity has been so closely tied to young children and mothering for so many years and now it is not.  I have a heart for mothers with young children because I know the struggles and joys so well.  But, for some reason God is blocking this path at this time in my life.  He seems to continue to refocus my energy to self awareness, self love and self care.  He knows that if I am in a room where others are struggling or children are in need, that I will pour my energy out to them and leave nothing for myself.  I know it too.  That is why my energy drained so quickly.  My body sensed it, and like a frustrated spouse throwing up his arms in exasperation, my body let the energy drain from itself as if to say, “Your going to give it away anyway, so what’s the point?”  But, I’m not.  I won’t be going back.  I will pray for the success of the group for the other mothers and their children.  It is a beautiful apostolate and truly needed, especially for homeschooling mothers.  I will, however, continue this journey of self discovery and for the opportunity for Angela to socialize while her siblings are at school.  While I will fondly remember the beautiful landscape of roads once traveled, I will try to embrace the ever changing landscape before me in each and every moment.  Part of me grieves for my old, familiar self: always a baby in the arms or a toddler on the hip (or both).  But, I know that I am called to serve another purpose now, to serve in a different capacity for the sake of God.  In the proper time, He will show it to me.

Off to School we Go!

God always, ALWAYS, is with us.  He provided me an opportunity to go on a private retreat the first weekend of August.  At this point, only Benjamin was accepted into school.  The others were on the waitlist in positions ranging from 10-27, which didn’t look too hopeful.  I struggled with grabbing back the familiar and the control.  It’s my default move to just take it all back and not trust in the bigger plan.  But, God patiently and lovingly spoke to me: to my heart in adoration and through the books I read.  I called Patrick and was so confident in God’s will for us that I was able to speak my need clearly and succinctly.  We had to enroll the kids in school and UME was the right school for us.  If they didn’t get in at first, then Patrick agreed to oversee the daily checklist and grading the Math and I would oversee the school during the day.  Our intermediate plan was to homeschool until they were accepted.  The next week a friend alerted me that the kids may not be listed as Benjamin’s siblings, which would affect the waitlist status.  Sure enough, when I called the school we discovered that a change in the computer system had left them detached from Benjamin.  When this error was corrected all the kids were moved up to positions ranging from 1 to 10.  It was a little sliver of hope and encouragement.

Benjamin started school on August 17.  I took all six kids with me to the Open House, so that in the event they were admitted they would be familiar with the school and some of the teachers.  Patrick was supposed to go with us, but his dentist appointment ran long and he could no longer meet up with us.  This event alone would have put me into a full panic attack just a mere 6 months ago.  But, God equips us to do His will.  There was no anxiety within me.  We saw a few families that we knew, but mostly it felt as if we just floated from room to room in a bubble, met the teachers we needed to meet and I left feeling excited and at peace about the new possibilities.  This is God’s grace in action.

By Friday, Daniel, Samuel and Sophia were enrolled.  One week later Joshua began his first day of 7th grade.  It only took 10 days for five of the six kids to be fully enrolled!  While I was on retreat, it looked like it could be the next semester or not at all; but, God was just giving me the opportunity to put my trust in Him.  He is such a loving, gentle and patient teacher.

So, we happily pack our lunches and backpacks, the kids cheerily skip off to school each morning and I sit drinking my coffee and lay by the pool soaking in the quiet.  Not a all.  The early mornings are a definite struggle.  Patrick oversees breakfast, getting the kids awake and dressed, and takes them to Shelly’s. (We carpool with a friend, but our car is the only one big enough to carry everyone, so it’s quite the system of exchanging vehicles in order to get the kids from point A to point B; but, it is also quite a blessing).  I haven’t slept well since school started, so my rising and my movement is very slow and limited.  I manage to get a few tasks accomplished and then I go to pick the kids up.  It is a 25 minute drive one direction.  We arrive home and dig into homework, which leads directly into dinner preparation and clean up, family reading time, prayers and bedtime.  This six-hour period of constant activity leaves me feeling like a wrung out washrag.  At the same time, Patrick is finishing a fourteen-hour work day and isn’t in much better shape.  After a week, the kids excitement and fascination with going to school has worn off and it takes a little more effort to get everyone motivated and moving.  Homeschooling was actually much easier and more efficient.  I won’t lie, I’ve already thought about throwing in the towel.

I was actually contemplating if we had made a huge mistake by putting them in school when I saw a video that my doctor posted on Facebook.  He spoke about walking through the fire.  He said things like “we always have something to learn” and “maybe it’s not about us, but about what other people see in our journey.” BAM!  God lead us to this path.  We are here at this moment, in this place for a reason.  It is hard, brutally difficult and challenging.  It is especially a struggle because I know that the hardships we are facing to make this school thing happen can be relieved by just going back to homeschooling.  But, I can not–must not–look back.  No, comparison and “what ifs” are the handy  work of the enemy.  God is calling us to go forward, to trust in Him completely.  He has a plan for us and the lesson in it is not only for me.  God wants to use our family and our story to show His goodness.  I will not stand in His way.

I beg your prayers for us during this time of transition.  We really are feeling the physical effects of this effort.  Pray for strength for us, for perseverance for all, and for all to learn the lesson that God is teaching us through the experience.  Thank you for journeying with me.

UPDATE:  In the midst of this transition, we have a new granddaughter!  Savannah Grace made her appearance at 5 am this morning.  And this Saturday we will gain a son when our daughter, Lauren celebrates the Sacrament of Matrimony with Matthew Perrier.  Such blessings in our lives!!  All Praise and Glory to God be given.

First Things First

Years ago I read the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Steven Covey.  I took away lots of great insight and advice from the book, but one analogy has stood out the strongest over all these years.  In short its message was “Put first things, first.”  I have tried to continually put it into practice and to pass this important lesson along to my kids.  Then, the opportunity presented itself for a tangible lesson and teaching opportunity.  And because of that teaching opportunity, I also gained material for a blog post.  So, win–win, right?

My kids have lots of toys and I try to organize them in a way that we can maintain a clean home, have space to play, and have access to games and toys without complete chaos in the wake.  One of the recent favorite toys to pull out and play with for hours and hours are the Playmobile sets, known as Mo-mobile sets in our home because that is how Daniel heard it called and it stuck.   The problem with mo-mobile is there are lots, and I mean LOTS, of tiny pieces.  The best way to keep up with it all is to have one large storage bin for all three sets.  Everything is in one place and we don’t go insane trying to match up parts to specific sets.  (DISCLAIMER:  this does not include Samuel’s set.  All the pieces are in their precise designated location, kept in the original box in the top of his closet, off limits to all siblings.)  But, for the not-so-OCD-Mach children, the remaining sets are fit very well in one large bin–IF you put them in the bin in the proper order.  And here is where the teachable moment fits in.

My children, including Samuel, want to get the toys picked up with the least amount of effort.  Good.  Efficiency is good.  They will toss the pieces into the bin in no particular order, and finding that the lid will not fit on the bin, begin to push and cram the pieces hoping to get the desired results.  It never works.   Stephen Covey tells us in 7 Habits that we have to put the “big” stuff in first.  We have to put important things like prayer, marriage and parenting into life before we can add in the activities, the parties, or even work at times.  If we put the big things in first, all the little stuff will fit in much more easily.  The other night it was Joshua who was assigned to clean up the mo-mobiles.  In his rush he tossed the items into the bin, but couldn’t get the lid on.  With frustration and irritation in my voice, I said, “You’ve got to put the big stuff in first, Bud.”  He tried to scoop the small items to one side and slip in the largest house.  He even figured out how some pieces nested together to save space, but still the lid would not shut.  So, I got down on the floor and showed him how to do it.   I removed the large pieces and set them to the side.  Then, I dumped all the pieces out onto the lid with only a few spilling onto the carpet.  I replaced the large pieces and lifting the lid, I carefully dumped all the little pieces into the bin.  In less than one minute they were all neatly in the bin, lid on, and slid into their home on the shelf.  His eyes were wide with amazement.  Not only did everything fit, it was easier and faster to do it that way.

The analogy was not lost on me and I hope it rooted deeply into Joshua’s heart as well.  It sometimes seems for me that time for prayer, relaxation, or any activity apart from hearth and home will not fit into my busy day.  I try stuffing it all in, but like toys that get lost or broken in the process, I too can become lost and broken.  I get in a hurry to get it all done and in the end nothing gets done well, if at all.  I put it off because the thought of fitting it all in is just overwhelming, but then I realize that I just need to focus on the big things first and take them one at a time.  When I finally set all the little things in my life to one side, I can see more clearly where the big things can fit in.  If I start my day with prayer, work on my relationship with my husband and kids, and focus on my main job of teaching; somehow I have a little time here to read a blog or two, a little time there to play a game, and another spot of time to work on growing my business (new venture, I’ll post details soon).  It all fits and it is easier and less stressful to boot.

Now, I just need to remember to put it into practice daily.  Old habits die hard.

Magnetic Months

I am a planner.  Organizing is a hobby for me and gives me energy.  So, with the start of school came the excuse to organize and plan for the school year.  I have younger children that still are trying to understand the days of the weeks and months of the years.  They still confuse “yesterday” with any day before the current one, and “tomorrow” as any day that follows.  It just made sense to give them a visual understanding of when events will take place:  when Lauren will be home, when a birthday will be celebrated, when we go to church, etc.  I pulled out the trustworthy Melissa and Doug magnetic calendar only to discover that many of the numbers were missing and the magnets for activities did not cover our personal needs.

But, have no fear, I have a large magnetic dry erase board that serves as a command and teaching center for our entire home.  I decided that I would post one week at a time and label the month and year at the top.  In addition to our weekly activities, I like to plan the meals out as well.  This makes grocery shopping more efficient and it eliminates the end of day decision making for “What are we going to have for dinner?”  I didn’t want to waste the M&D magnets, so I reused them by putting stickers on top.  Sophia enjoyed putting small round stickers over the numbers and these became our new “marks” for our reward system.   We customized the other magnets by printing 1×1 pictures our favorite foods on labels.  I cut the labels to size and the kids covered the magnets.  I also just use blank labels and write in activities that seem to re-occur on a regular basis.

My older children are each responsible for planning and making a meal or snack.  The magnet system has worked well in helping them plan the meals out for the week and takes all the guess work out of meal times.  Another addition I have made is to incorporate the Liturgical Calendar.  I bought these stickers of feast days several years ago.  It took a little bit of work, but I placed the stickers onto magnetic paper and then cut them out.  Someone should really produce these as magnets! It really helps to tie our days together with the days of the Church and is another way to remind us why we are really here and where our journey is headed.  Learning about the saints encourages us in our own journey and continually reminds us that God is an awesome God!

One last suggestion is to buy the magnetic paper and print directly to the magnetic paper.  I used labels and the wooden magnets from Melissa and Doug only because I already had them on hand.  Although, the thicker wooden magnets are easier to grip; the magnetic paper would eliminate several steps and is relatively inexpensive.

Happy organizing!

June Book Review

I am no expert on literature, but I am a lover of books, reading, and the written word. As volunteer librarian for our home school support group, I have learned to categorize and organize our 600+ books and videos in a reasonable fashion. I even catalogued the books on http://www.LibrayThing.com so that members can see our titles from the comfort of their own internet connections. One area that has been severely lacking is access to the physical library due to my health and the general busy-ness of homeschoolers in general. It is a most underused asset to be certain.
I am hoping to change that. Each month I will spotlight a book or video that we have in our Library. I decided that I should be more familiar with the books that I am recommending, so I will also add in a short review to the spotlight. This got me to thinking. If I am going to review a book for my support group, why not share my knowledge with my blog readers as well? So, here are my recommendations and reviews for June and handy links to Amazon should you want to purchase them for your own benefit as well. If you use my links, you will also help to support our home school and that will be very much appreciated!

One of my favorite bloggers, Simcha Fisher, inspired me with this photo on her post today.

photo by Simcha Fisher

Anyone with children knows that summertime will inevitably bring about the phrase, “I’m Bored.” If you have teenagers in the house, then I have some reading recommendations for them and you!

Regina Doman has written a series of fairy tales retold. This Catholic author takes traditional fairy tales and sets them in modern times with fascinating characters and story lines that will captivate the reader. Hot summer afternoons are sure to pass by quickly as you devour these novels. These include The Shadow of the Bear: A Fairy Tale Retold, Black as Night: A Fairy Tale Retold, Waking Rose: A Fairy Tale Retold, The Midnight Dancers: A Fairy Tale Retold, and the latest release Rapunzel Let Down: A Fairy Tale Retold.

For a slightly more serious read, your high school boys may enjoy Fr. Larry Richard’s book, Be A Man!: Becoming the Man God Created You to Be. Fr. Richards doesn’t mince words and will capture your son’s attention with his honesty and his gift of storytelling. This book is written to encourage deep thought about what it means to be a Catholic man in today’s world. Rather than telling the reader what to think, Fr. Richards asks them questions that will guide them into a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationship with God. Each chapter ends with goals and reflection questions.

Happy Reading!

Lesson Planning 101

I may be an anomaly, but one of my favorite things to do is to write lesson plans.  I enjoy looking over my book selections, dreaming about added activities or hands-on projects to reinforce the lesson, and bask in putting it in a simplified order to meet my goals for the year.  Even when I purchase lesson plans or enroll with a homeschool program, I change the format to meet my own expectations and desires based on the particular needs of my children or family.  For the first few years I enrolled my daughter in Seton Home Study School and followed their lesson plans.  I would pencil in the plans each week for my daughter and I to follow and make the necessary adjustments for sick days, field trips, or spur-of-the-moment outings.  Pencils are my favorite.  I can make changes without throwing my OCD tendencies out of control.  After adding in a few more students, however, hand writing a weekly lesson plan quickly became a burdensome task.

Excel worksheets became my new best friend.  I have written detailed daily lesson plans in an Excel workbook.  Each week became its own new worksheet within the workbook.  I saved them from one year to the next and may adjustments for the new student fairly easily.  I would like to note that some programs allow you to purchase their lesson plans, like Mother of Divine Grace; while others only allow you use of the lesson plans for the current student, like Seton Home Study School.  I only save and reuse those plans that I purchased or wrote on my own.  Seton actually has an excellent lesson plan printer for currently enrolled students.  I import the days and weeks I want into Word and then cut and paste to get it to one or two pages.  I must say this option alone makes it worth enrolling in their program!  Just remember to delete them at the end of the year so you do not violate copywrite laws, and be sure to return or destroy any printed lesson plan material.

So, if you aren’t enrolled in a program that provides lesson plans how do you go about writing them?  For me, simple is better.  Let’s take Math because it is one of the easiest subjects to break down.  Math is typically done five days each week for 32 or 36 weeks depending on your school year.  36 week school years usually include one week of review for each quarter, technically making it a 32 week school year with study time and make-up days built in.  So, I guess the first thing you have to decide is what determines your school year.  I use 32 week plans and we finish the year, when the plans are complete for all core subjects.  If we get it done in 24 weeks, we are finished.  If we have to take 40 weeks to complete it, so be it.  The school year ends when our goals are met.  This is another reason to keep the lesson plans simple.  It is easy to add in assignments and activities in order to master a concept, it is much harder to skip assignments and risk missing a critical building block of knowledge.

Back to Math.  Most Math books contain more lessons than can be completed in a single school year.  Also, in elementary grades the first part of the book will review basics at the beginning of each year.  If your student does not need this review, then adjust the plans accordingly.  Sometimes, I will give them the first or second test just to get a feel for their placement.  If they score 90% or higher, that is where we begin the year.  Let’s use Johnny as an example.  He tests well on Test 2.  Math 101 typically gives ten lessons and then a test.  So Week 1, Day 1 of Johnny’s Math lesson will begin with Lesson 21.  Everyone following me, here?  He will do a Math lesson each day of the week, so his lesson plan in simplified format may look like this:

                   
Mon    Tue    Wed    Thur  Fri

Week 1  L 21       L 22        L 23       L 24     L 25

Week 2  L 26       L 27        L 28       L 29     L 30

Week 3  Test 3     L 31        L 32       L 33     L 34

 Sorry. The formatting isn’t cooperating. It is one lesson or test per day of week 😉

You will continue to write this out until you have 32 weeks of lessons filled in.  Now, you can get even more tailored with these plans and go through the book page by page, eliminating some lessons or adding supplemental lessons as needed.  Some kids grasp concepts quickly and too much repetition will just make the subject less interesting.  I teach to mastery of concepts, so once they have complete mastery of the idea, we move on to the next concept.  If the concept is still escaping them, most programs will have supplemental material that can be added in for additional practice.  I have one student that is very advanced in Math, so one year he only did workbook pages three days each week.  The other days he worked with Cuisenairre rods or other manipulative materials where he could explore Math on his own.  There are even Lego math sheets on-line that teach math concepts while playing with legos.  My point is that you can do whatever your little heart desires and have fun!  If you feel you may have to make lots of adjustments during the school year, keep your lesson plan as simple as stating a goal:  Math 4 will end at Test 12.

 Writing lesson plans for other subjects is similar.  It does take time to look at each book and think of each child as you write the plans.  Just remember to set a goal for each subject and then break it down into weeks and then days per week for that subject.  Typically, elementary students will do four-day weeks, leaving one day each week open for appointments, make-up work or field trips.  Subjects like History, Science and Art may only be done one or two days each week as well.  I cannot write out each subject for you because that would be a book instead of a blog post.  If you have a specific question, just leave it in the comments section and I will be happy to share my opinion and advice.  Happy planning!

Homeschool Curriculum Choices: Which Way Do I Go?

Oh, man.  This is a can of worms if there ever was one.   Curriculum.  The possibilities are endless and overwhelming.  There are full secular curriculum, there are Catholic Curriculum, and there are as many Protestant choices as there are denominations.  You can fully enroll, partially enroll, or piece your own curriculum together book-by-book.  If you attend a book fair, your head will spin and you can spend a small fortune for the education of one child for one year.  But, don’t run away.  You can do this.  First, know that the wheel has already been invented. 

Find a local support group and attend one of the gatherings.  Talk with the other parents and find one or two that you connect with and ask them what they use.  Overall, homeschoolers love to share their experiences with what works and what doesn’t.  Tap into this knowledge and use it to your full advantage.  Our homeschool support group, CATH (Catholics Teaching at Home), has an information night each year for this purpose.  We also have our own library that allows parents to check out resources and save money on books, both for information and for curricula use.  I know several families that have opened their homes for shadowing as well.  Prospective parents spend the day with a homeschooling family to see how that family does it.  I have opened my home for parents to peruse my books and ask questions about various curruiculum or subjects.  Our support group also has a private yahoo group where parents can toss questions out to an individual or the group to get feedback.  Be prepared before doing this though because you may end up with more questions than when you started.  Finally, the Catholic Homeschool Conventions tend to be smaller and much less overwhelming.  The Immaculate Heart of Mary Conference is a national conference.  Look here for a location near you.

Personally, I have used several methods and tried a variety of books and products.  I have never done it the same way two years in a row.  Each year I take into consideration the life events for our family, the individual children’s needs and ages, and my own ability to handle the aforementioned.  I have come to learn that the elementary years are not so critical for forming the kids academically as they are for forming character and foundation.  These years should be focused on fun and bonding and character building and less on book-work achievement.  It has taken me fourteen years to learn this, so please take it to heart and enjoy this precious, short-lived time with your youngsters.  Don’t be a workbook Nazi.  Ha ha.  This is a reference to a speaker at one of the first homeschool conventions that I attended.  My friend, Karen and I slipped into his talk and saw so much of ourselves in what he had to say that we were rolling with laughter and grabbing our sides from the pain.  He talked about being a “workbook Nazi” standing guard over the students to make sure they completed every assignment, making threats of withholding lunch, or play, or whatever would entice the child to finish his work.  It was not fun for the parent, not fun for the child, and very questionable as to how much learning was really being accomplished.  I want my children to love learning as much as I do and it is very easy getting sucked into the role of guard, instead of guide. 

I devoured books about Charlotte Mason, Maria Montessori, and  by Mary Kay Clark and Laura Berquist.  I tend towards the Classical Method of education because I feel that it addresses the whole child in the best possible way.  But, when push comes to shove and you have three students, three toddlers and a baby due, Classical isn’t always possible or feasible.  So, for the years where I was stretched thin, I have found traditional education with mostly independent studies the best fit for the fam.  This is spelled SETON.  You cannot beat it for giving your child a beautiful, Catholic education for the best value and quality.  It is a great fit for large families, but does come with its own drawbacks.  It is very easy to become the Workbook Nazi that I mentioned before.  It is also more of a challenge for me to be flexible.  Their books and lesson plans are so well laid out that straying from the plan leaves me feeling that my kids will be missing something important if we skip a lesson or omit an assignment.  This may just be a personal  OCD thing on my behalf, but it is there.  Also, I have a daughter with mild dyslexia.  I felt that when she was using Seton, she just memorized to pass the test and spit back the information, and wasn’t truly learning and internalizing the material.  Lastly, Seton charges by the student and all books are included in the fees, as well as counseling and record keeping.  I believe they give discounts for large families, but you would need to double check me on that.

We enrolled in Mother of Divine Grace (MODG) two years ago when my second daughter reached high school age.  I started out writing my own lesson plans and doing my own record keeping, but by the mid-semester break I felt like my daughter was drifting away.  I couldn’t keep up with grading, I wasn’t sure about what she was actually learning and didn’t feel like I had a good grip on her education.  I prayed for direction and sought my husband’s counsel.  We decided to enroll her with MODG beginning in January following the break.  Because they have their own standards, many of the credits that Allison had earned in that first semester didn’t transfer and we had to begin from square one.  Allison was a real champ about it and never complained once that she had to start her freshman year all over.  MODG assigns consultants to each family and charges a flat fee per family for enrollment.  The advantage here is that we continue to work with the same person and form a relationship between consultant and family.  My consultant learned of our unique circumstance and went to bat for us to get it all worked out.  She made adjustments to Allison’s lesson plans to help ease the transition and to work through it at a faster rate.  We were not able to sign up for Learning Services, which are the on-line live classes offered through MODG; but we were able to get Teaching Assistance, which included private telephone consultation with a teacher and grading for those subjects.  This really took the pressure off of me and gave me back the confidence that Allison was not missing out on critical learning in her high school career.

Due to the fact that enrollment with MODG includes the whole family, I decided to enroll all of my students for this current year.  I ended up changing out many of the curriculum with book choices that I already owned or preferred , resulting in the re-writing of most of the lesson plans.  Since I have a firm foundation and years of experience, I did not feel like I benefitted from enrolling my younger students and will just do my own lesson plans again for next year.  I will use my time with the MODG consultant to focus on Allison.  I don’t give the cost of Learning Services and Teaching Assistance a second thought.  Allison is a visual learner and the on-line live courses have helped her to master the material much more easily and have the added bonus of keeping her on schedule; in addition to no grading for me (whoo hoo!).

I really enjoy writing my own lesson plans, which I intend to discuss in detail with you in a future post.  But, since we are discussing curriculum, here are some of my favorite picks for books for my younger students by grade and subject:

Math:  Horizon’s workbooks through grade 4; Abeka Mathmatics for gifted mathematicians; Saxon Math grades 5 through highschool.  I especially encourage using a live on-line class like Homeschool Connections for upper math courses, or at a minimum purchase the D.I.V.E. cd’s for added instruction.

Spelling:  AVKO’s Sequential Spelling DVD’s especially if your child is not a strong speller.  This teaches spelling patterns and helps the brain to recognize the patterns.  This is suitable for all grades, but each student should begin with the first book and work through in order from there.

Teaching your Child to Read:  Hands down I recommend “Teaching Reading and Writitng from Square One” by Don McCabe founder of AVKO.  It is a free ebook when you become an AVKO member.  It just makes sense to me and was simple to teach and use.  You can begin to use this whenever you sense that your child is ready to read.  I had a four year old learn to read when I used it to teach his older siblings and I intend to use it next year with my four and six year old.  I will not be surprised if my spry three year old picks up on it just by being in the room with us.

Phonics:  Explode the Code series are our favorite.  The kids devour the workbooks and finish them way ahead of schedule.  You begin with books A,B and C at the preschool or kinder level and go up from there.  There are two books for each level : books 1 and 1 ½; 2 and 2 ½  etc.

Language Arts:  I enjoy using the Total Language Plus program for one of the years in each child’s elementary career.  The workbooks are pricey, but can be reproduced for use within the same family; or you can have your child write his/her answers in a spiral notebook in order to reuse for the next child.  They do a good job of assigning grade levels beginning from grade 3.

Art:  Artistic Pursuits.  It is pricey, but it truly teaches art appreciation along with hands-on projects to compliment each piece of art.  I have the full set now, but you could purchase one book from each level and it would stretch out over several school seasons.  Unless, you are that amazing mom that fits art in on a weekly basis and doesn’t mind the overhead.  I would enjoy meeting you—if you really exist 😉

Religion:  I adore MODG elementary lesson plans with a combination of Catechism memorization; Bible history and retelling and learning about various saints.  I also like the Seton Religion workbooks, attending daily Mass as often as possible, and adding in devotions like the Divine Mercy Chaplet or the Rosary depending on the day and liturgical calendar.  Living your faith out loud is the best teacher.

My final advice is to pick something and just go with it.  Don’t get stuck in the decision making process.  If it doesn’t work for one child, set it aside for another, or sell it or pass it along.  Each child is different and will probably need the lesson plan tweaked to fit his/her needs.  Look for used books to borrow or buy at a discount and don’t get sucked into the curriculum with lots of bells and whistles.  It is easy to add activities as you go and often much less expensive.  The internet is an incredible source for free or inexpensive material as well.  Check out CatholicIcing.com for amazing and unlimited ideas for teaching the faith.  My lists are nowhere near complete or all inclusive.  I just found some items that worked for me, so I stuck with them and didn’t look back.  I’m afraid of getting sucked into that land of overwhelming choices again.  I’ve been there, spent too much money and have the books to prove it.