Quick Update

This will be my only post this week. I am leaving for a 4-day silent retreat on Thursday and will be unplugged from everyone and everything except my Lord. I can hardly wait! It will be a different experience from my Advent retreat where I was in poor physical health and had to be away from my family for nearly two weeks. For one thing it is only for a few days, but more significantly, my health is steadily improving and is markedly different from during my last retreat.

Lent is nearly over and I cannot help but reflect on how my physical health has coincided with the seasons. It was the beginning of Advent when my adrenals crashed. With the care of the Sisters I sprung back enough to enjoy Christmas with my family. The months of January and February were a holding pattern with lengthy testing and then waiting for the results. I was able to begin my new protocol to balance my hormones as Lent began. As the cold weather and bare trees have begun to warm and show signs of new life, my body has also shown signs of re-energizing. I rejoice in the beauty of nature around me and feel hope spring eternal once again. God is ever faithful and I am humbled by His greatness.

Daffodil planted after the first freeze.

Daffodil planted after the first freeze.

The path to my recovery is not a smooth, obstacle-free path. It is still Lent and I am still learning. Last Wednesday I had the most incredible day and felt the best I have felt in over a year. I wrote this post that day and managed to get through dinner before realizing that I might have driven my car a little too hard. I woke on Thursday morning feeling completely zapped of energy and so emotionally unstable that I literally cried until 1 in the afternoon. Patrick had left for work and I was too weak to care about asking the kids to get me food or my medicine. I tried to get out of bed, only to find that I could not stand without support, so I crawled back into bed and rested, prayed and cried. As the day went on (and I ate and rehydrated) I began to feel a little better. It was another day of humiliation. I terribly dislike for anyone to see me cry, especially my kids or strangers. I wasn’t depressed either. It was just utter exhaustion and frustration. But, Friday I was better; although I did sleep until noon. And Saturday and Sunday I fared pretty well considering that my husband was camping with the older boys and my teen was gone on retreat. Monday was another great day, but I drove the car a little too hard again. I went all day and ran several errands and then headed to Bible Study at 7 pm! It was worth it, but I have been sluggish today. So, I guess the lesson for me is to learn my new limitations. It is encouraging to see that I am bouncing back much more quickly than even a few weeks ago.

I hope I haven’t bored you with all the details. I like to write positive posts, but I also want to be honest and real. My life is full of blessings and joy, but I am far from perfect. Thank you for coming along with me on this journey. I pray God is blessing you and pouring out the grace in your lives as He is doing for me. I will hold you all in prayer during my retreat and I’ll follow up next week to share any insights I may have gained.


5 thoughts on “Quick Update

  1. Yes, Jill…we strong women tend to push ourselves more than we should…don’t we? I am guilty as charged as well. I am enjoying, like you, the knowledge of humility and humbling myself to my limitations. Not an easy thing to do! We go getters sometimes have to let others do the going and the getting for us! I’m trying to learn how to pace myself and not feel I have to take it all on. There is plenty of room for others to take things on and it is God’s will that I share my load. I believe this is an absolutely positive post! 🙂 You are doing amazing and I am happy to hear you are enjoying bursts of energy! Yay! Don’t forget to conserve and reserve it a bit. I count on you to remind me to do the same! 😉 I will pray for you during your retreat, that your physical strength can match your mental strength and will power! Please, if you would, pray for me that I can keep on track with my chemo? I would be forever grateful! Good to read your posts…they give me encouragement to keep on striving to do God’s will.

    Lenten Blessings my dear friend!

  2. Please pray for us. I feel like the Endless Migraine is doing to my family what your adrenals did to yours. We are at a dead end, and I am feeling hopeless.

    • Praying, Analisa. There is always hope. God is with you in this suffering though he may feel far away. Cry out to Him. I am so sorry for the heaviness of this cross. Please let me know if I can do more for you.

    • Will keep you in prayer, Analisa. I have a very dear friend who has suffered for years with migraines. She has managed over the years to homeschool 9 children! She only has 4 left at home so is thankful to be winding down a bit. She doesn’t believe she is strong, but I know truly she is! My daughter has them occasionally and know that for her, stress plays a big part. Very strong people tend to take on a lot and suffer in silence. Sometimes we just need to know when to slow down a bit before our bodies tell us we must. I’ll be praying that you are able to find a way to keep functioning through your suffering and are able to take time for yourself to re coop. I know it is difficult, but rejoice in your suffering because you are soo close to Jesus who looks down upon you from His cross of suffering. Sometimes this will help us to find the hope…joyful suffering is the most beautiful kind. Hope that even though you are suffering, you are not alone and there is a purpose for all things. You must have a very beautiful family who loves you so dearly that they are bearing that cross with you. Give them Jesus and His example, this is the hope!

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