This will be my only post this week. I am leaving for a 4-day silent retreat on Thursday and will be unplugged from everyone and everything except my Lord. I can hardly wait! It will be a different experience from my Advent retreat where I was in poor physical health and had to be away from my family for nearly two weeks. For one thing it is only for a few days, but more significantly, my health is steadily improving and is markedly different from during my last retreat.
Lent is nearly over and I cannot help but reflect on how my physical health has coincided with the seasons. It was the beginning of Advent when my adrenals crashed. With the care of the Sisters I sprung back enough to enjoy Christmas with my family. The months of January and February were a holding pattern with lengthy testing and then waiting for the results. I was able to begin my new protocol to balance my hormones as Lent began. As the cold weather and bare trees have begun to warm and show signs of new life, my body has also shown signs of re-energizing. I rejoice in the beauty of nature around me and feel hope spring eternal once again. God is ever faithful and I am humbled by His greatness.
The path to my recovery is not a smooth, obstacle-free path. It is still Lent and I am still learning. Last Wednesday I had the most incredible day and felt the best I have felt in over a year. I wrote this post that day and managed to get through dinner before realizing that I might have driven my car a little too hard. I woke on Thursday morning feeling completely zapped of energy and so emotionally unstable that I literally cried until 1 in the afternoon. Patrick had left for work and I was too weak to care about asking the kids to get me food or my medicine. I tried to get out of bed, only to find that I could not stand without support, so I crawled back into bed and rested, prayed and cried. As the day went on (and I ate and rehydrated) I began to feel a little better. It was another day of humiliation. I terribly dislike for anyone to see me cry, especially my kids or strangers. I wasn’t depressed either. It was just utter exhaustion and frustration. But, Friday I was better; although I did sleep until noon. And Saturday and Sunday I fared pretty well considering that my husband was camping with the older boys and my teen was gone on retreat. Monday was another great day, but I drove the car a little too hard again. I went all day and ran several errands and then headed to Bible Study at 7 pm! It was worth it, but I have been sluggish today. So, I guess the lesson for me is to learn my new limitations. It is encouraging to see that I am bouncing back much more quickly than even a few weeks ago.
I hope I haven’t bored you with all the details. I like to write positive posts, but I also want to be honest and real. My life is full of blessings and joy, but I am far from perfect. Thank you for coming along with me on this journey. I pray God is blessing you and pouring out the grace in your lives as He is doing for me. I will hold you all in prayer during my retreat and I’ll follow up next week to share any insights I may have gained.