I Am Tired

>How did I pick my blog name you ask? Well, I tried to come up with something really creative and catchy but, seeing as my brain cells have stopped working in the creative part of my brain all I could muster was “jillmmach” and I thought, “Wow! That will really draw people in.” Then I remembered my mom. Every time my mother has seen me for the past 30 years of my life she says, “You look tired.” “Oh, thanks, Mom! That is just what I needed to hear.” She means well. She is concerned and the fact is I am tired. I just try to avoid knowing that I appear the same way I feel. Some say that is denial. I call it a survival skill. In my head I am still 21, young, energetic and beautiful inside and out. I don’t have those dark brown circles under my eyes or any gray hair peeking through my scruffy ponytail. My secret is not to look in the mirror once I’ve finished brushing my teeth and hair. I go about my business of managing the household and making sure all 7 kids still living at home survive the day in one piece, are fed and clothed and know that it is God who gives us life and God who takes it from us. Every once in awhile I will pass in front of a mirror and catch a glimpse, but I try not to look so that I can remain in my happy place. My husband told me years ago that he liked me better without makeup. I know he still feels this way because 1. he is the greatest husband God could have given me and 2. he is not perfect and does not expect perfection from me. Although a daily bath and shaved legs go a long way.

Anyway, back to the name “You Look Tired.” I want this blog to be an honest account of my semi-humble little journey with some humor in the mix. I want it to be a source of encouragement for other women and mothers. I want it to be a place to discuss truth even when it is not politically correct or doesn’t feel good to do so. We live in a secular world and face a variety of challenges, but we are not unique from generations who have gone before us. I have 9 children and 5 grandchildren and am only 42. My children range in age from 25 to 2 and I’m young enough to have several more if that what God desires of me and my husband. I AM tired. I am tired of being tired. But, my life is full and praise God that I have good reason to be tired. I have healthy children and grandchildren to chase and feed and dress and educate and play with; I have clothes to wash and food to cook; I have a beautiful house to keep clean and maintained and a loving husband to grow in deep friendship with. Yes, I am tired, Mom and I admit I even look tired; but, I am not bored and I am definitely not lonely!

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